All of us know, and have probably worked with, an old school brand manager in our day.  These lions of brand integrity grip their standards books like bibles and slay brand heretics at will. Their rhetoric is all too well-known and ~loved~.

Philosophically, I understand where they are coming from. Financially though, the status quo is losing value. I am here to take a stand and tell you [gramps] that some standards are not worth protecting.

We are paid to make profitable decisions, not to preserve the egos of rubber-stamping middle managers. The warning signs are all there, your ideas are dying and I’ve outlined this short list to prove it.

Your brand is DOA if…

10. It employs the liberal use of talking pets. “Mention Bucky and get $200 off your trade-in price”

9. The current logo is a combination of several logos from the 50’s and 60’s – three typefaces, two triangles, a circle and a sketch of the company’s first president.

8. The website looks like the newspaper classifieds.

7. The owner’s kids are in every commercial. “You can twust our company, daddy says so.”

6. Wilford Brimley is the company’s spokesperson. “I’m dying, and you are too… buy insurance.”

5. Henry Winkler is the company’s spokesperson. “I was cool in 1960… buy medicine, Eeh.”

4. The tagline rhymes… so it sounds good on the radio. “That’s what I said… Sorry Nick Bankhead”

3. The brand’s approved color scheme includes seafoam green and mustard yellow.

2. The brand is spelled AAAnderson… so it is easy to find in the phonebook.

1. One word: “Papyrus”

One thing is certain in today’s marketplace. Brand identities must be dynamic to survive. They must be agile, multi-format ninjas to survive the cut and paste, mobile-ready pixel playground that is the internet.

Do yourself a favor. If you recognize any of the aforementioned warning signs in your brand… fire your marketing agency and call me immediately. I know a good branding guy.